Neti neti! Change of plans again and other thoughts...

Nayla, Zoe and Kai at their nana's!

Hassan II mosque

The happy family!

It is amazing, I had done such a good job at not looking beyond the birth (and thus the possibility that I would not get to travel much beyond the greater Casablanca area) that I really didn't read much about Moroccan in any books. Once the opportunity to travel came up however, I soon found that I have about 3 months worth of backpacking aspirations and needed to be more realistic about a nice 7-9 day vacation rather than be in the mindset of a long-term backpacker. With the help of Trish, Sadek, Aurelia, Amine and Jess (my little posse of friends and family here!), I think we've come up with a great trip!

The postpartum period has been quite blissful for Aurelia, Sadek and Lila so far. Mama is still riding high from the birth, baby is contented, and papa is very much in love with the ladies of the house! Breastfeeding is going well--both Sadek and Aurelia are amazed at how big her breasts have become with the milk coming in--yesterday when I visited they had made a comment about it and I assured them they would be bigger today, and indeed I was right! Lila is nursing well, and today had her first of many adorable little outfits on (she had just been held skin-to-skin thus far).

I've been enjoying time at the beach. Walks with Trish and Kai along the ocean in the morning, some yoga, off to visit mom and baby in the city in the afternoon, some time with the girls early evening, and often hanging out at Jess's at night, doing work or being online or just hanging out listening to music or playing music. Wednesday night was amusing--three surfers (two Moroccans and one French) stopped by for various reasons over the course of a couple hours. One guy gets help with his English class homework from Jess. He's made a percussion instrument from a ceramic jug-- it is pretty cool. I took a video of it actually but forgot to snap a photo too. We helped him write a letter about why he wants to learn English (the bottom line of which is to be able to talk to the surfers who come to Dar Buazza and fall in love with an American woman!). He brought Jess a tupperware container of about 200 sea urchins that his aunt (I think?) prepared-- apparently some Moroccan specialty-either in cuisine or folk medicine. Was a bit (in surfer speak) gnarly. Then the other Moroccan man came in and he has beautiful dreads that go from brown near his scalp to a bright blonde at their ends, and I realized these were the two guys I've watched surfing on more than one occasion in the past couple weeks, and who I found watching me do yoga outside the cottage one morning. I've been somewhat hesitant to talk to men on the beach here (for many reasons), but wish I had known they spoke a little English so I could have met them earlier, but will be sure to chat them up and practice some English and Arabic when I see them again.

I had a very interesting experience at lunch yesterday. On Wednesdays, Trish and Amine and the girls have lunch at Amine's mother's house (Amine's mom and Sadek's mom are sisters and Sadek and Aurelia also generally go to his mom's on Wednesday's too). I was invited to join them today but Trish "forgot" to prepare me for the event. After practicing my Arabic on the crowded car ride to the city with Z'neb (Kai's babysitter) a big shift occurred once we got to Anfa. Amine's mom, Jolie, lives in a beautiful old home with a lot of interesting Moroccan and Spanish art and furniture and with one of the most gorgeous, lush, established private gardens in all of Morocco (due in large part to Sadek's plants and talents!). Their routine is to go for a formal lunch around 1pm and then the girls have French lessons in the afternoon (in the summer they all play by the pool in the middle of the garden but not this time of year). It was just a big change in atmosphere from what I am used to-- a bit stuffy and formal and kind of disconnected. I was thinking it was because I was there and there were some language issues, or they were uncomfortable because they didn't know me, but apparently that is just the way it is at these lunch affairs. But the food was lovely and abundant and traditional and I got to speak Spanish with Amine's mom and show them pictures of the baby. She is enamoured of her grandchildren and it was culturally and class-wise and cuisine-wise a good thing to experience.

Plus, we were crowded in the CRV on the way up, so I shared the front passenger seat with Z'neb, Kai's babysitter. And since we were in such close quarters, I thought it to be a good opportunity to practice some Arabic and quadrupled my vocab on the 30 minute drive (not hard to do when your starting number is 5!). The following day I also had a chance to practice when Mohammed drove me to the Hassan II mosque so I could (finally!) take my tour. He speaks a little English (i.e. much more than I speak Arabic) but not so much that we could have a conversation, so pointing to or miming things and getting the phrase in Arabic was more fun for both of us. He got quite a kick out of my attempts to pronounce some things -- Arabic is an absolutely beautiful language, but has so many subtelties and nuances in sound and pronunciation-- it can be quite difficult. I get a kick out of my attempts at jotting phrases down phonetically. Some of my favorites are: neti neti (basically, "uh oh", or "oh, shit!", mac kane mushil "no problem", B'zef "too much", "schwia-- little/less. I've also learned how to say "without meat" "without chicken", etc. to which Mohammed responded "what do you eat?". At this point I have about 50 words and phrases in my personal notebook, along with an Arabic phrasebook. Of course, now I'm actually heading to the more touristy parts of Morocco where more folks speak English. Interestingly, I've also noticed myself understanding a bit more French these past few days...hardly conversant or anything, and can't really speak much more than when I came (though to be fair to myself, a bit more!)-- but it is cool. Not so much that, for example, when I was waving to and walking towards a surfer in Dar Bouazza that looked so much like the drummer English-learning guy I met last night mentioned above, and then realized once I got closer it was totally not him and tried to explain that I thought he was someone else--we had an absolute blockage on communication. Neti neti! After a few attempts I walked away saying "Ca va!", "mac kane mushkil" and "inshallah" (as God wills). Language acquisition is so wonderful and I hope someday to be immersed for a long period of time somewhere to really learn another language again.

My friend Christine can't come after all. I woke up this morning to check on her flight status and instead found a litany of emails "URGENT: I AM NOT ON THE FLIGHT!" and "FLIGHT CANCELLED!". She had gotten her passport renewed and the office person either put the stamp in the wrong place, or with the wrong date-- anyway, something was not in order enough that in this post 9/11 world they would not let her on the flight and out of the country. So our last minute synchronicity suddenly fell into discord. Along with the gifts and goodies from the states that she was smuggling in for my friends here (lots of Dagoba chocolate for my fellow chocoholics here, 10 lbs of coffee for Amine, Tapatio taco sauce for Jess, etc) It is a bit sad and disappointing for both of us (of course, I get to be sad here in Morocco and she is in New Jersey-sorry Christine!) and I had shifted into excitement about and expectation of traveling with an old friend and re-kindling our friendship (which we plan to do once I get back). And spiritually, I being open to the message that I just need to go with the flow, get out there in the country and see what happens (with caution and mindfulness and awareness- don't worry mom and dad!). As Sadek said when I told him of the news this morning (I was particularly excited for them to meet each other with their common interests in gardening, plants and sustainability), "well, this leaves more rooms for surprises!". Inshallah.

Baby Lila is just fabulous, as is her mother and father. She has changed so much and is continuing to unfold into her little baby self. She had her first video skype call with her grandparents in France, and I am told she performed for them just beautifully. She's breastfeeding well, the parents have had some good discussions about what they need from each other in this early postpartum period, and I continue to be impressed by the beauty and openness and grace with which Aurelia and Sadek are approaching new parenthood-a process I am getting to witness firsthand even more than usual in my work as midwife. Aurelia and I were hanging out in her bedroom for a few hours last night, talking, sharing, jotting down helpful hints and reminders for when I'm away--a typical enough scene for me at a postpartum visit--but here I was in my bathrobe, fresh out of the shower, needing to be mindful of not pulling aside my robe to demonstrate a breastfeeding technique. This is the most time I've spent with a "cleint" this soon after the birth--actually living with them some, and being dependent on them in some ways not typical for me. It has revealed some new insights into what folks are going through and how there are things I can help prepare them for and assist with, and others they need to figure out in their own way and time.

On another note, while we were talking, Aurelia was showing me a gift from a friend who she described as the "really fat woman", and when I told her (knowing who she was referring to) that I thought it was a bit much to call her "really fat", maybe a little on the larger side, but not really fat, she remarked "Oh yes, but you are an American. That is as fat as we get here!" Ahh, to be known as the land of the fat and really fat....

Speaking of over-indulgence, as I mentioned, I went to tour the incredible, one of the wonders of the world in modern architecture, incredibly massive Hassan II (a recent King) Mosque. It is the third largest mosque in the world (after Mecca and Medina) and its worship area can fit up to 25,000 (20,000 men, 5,000 women). There is a lot of controversy about the mosque here-- it is right on the ocean over what used to be a slum and therefore displaced a lot of poor people, many people were killed during its construction, which amazingly happened over just 6 years of 10,000 craftsmen and 3000 laborers working in shifts 24/7-- literally, it was built by public subscription--i.e. everyone in the country paid for it whether they wanted to or not, to the tune of 600 million. But it is truly magnificent and the workmanship and art and craft put into it is so incredible--you just don't see things built like this anymore really. And all the materials, with two exceptions (the 57 gigantic Venetian glass chandeliers and some pure white marble) are from within Morocco. The entire complex is huge, right on the ocean, very dramatic and striking against the blue blue sky and the crashing waves. While I certainly understand people's discontent with the endeavor and the royalty's meglomania, etc. I can't help but thing that at least in this case in Morocco, a beautiful religious, artistic, architectural and spiritual masterpiece was created, whereas in the USA we build bombs and bombers that kill people by public subscription (i.e. our taxes) that add up to billions every year.

There was a decent sized English tour today and I met my first traveler...an Irishman named Martin, about 3 months into a year with his back through Africa. (He's in probably his late forties and has done a lot of 6 month-1 year trips and is up to 50-60 countries seen now). He was pretty impressive in his efficient, cheap, no-nonsense brand of touring. He's been in Morocco for 11 days and was quite surprised at both how few travelers he's seen and at how European Moroccans seem versus his recent experience in Ethiopia. We will both be in Marrakesh this weekend so perhaps I'll hear more about his adventures.

Well, that's it for now. I'm not sure if I'll be able to post while on the road...particularly with photos. Wish me fun and luck for the journey!

I have taken over 800 photos so far. I am having a frustrating time with uploading them and will try to create a link to flickr or something to provide more of a sampling.